Komera - Be Strong

KOMERA is a word in Kinyarwanda that translates to "to be strong" or "be strong".  It is a common greeting passing by people on the street or used to encourage someone and it's probably on of my favorite phrases so far.  Being a Peace Corps Volunteer for the past 17 months (has it really been that long?!?!) I've definitely uncovered some of my own strengths and many many weaknesses on which I try to improve upon everyday.  What I want to shed a little light on today is something that was definitely a strength before I came to Rwanda and ended up being my biggest weakness for the first year.

I'm an athlete through and through.  Whether it was playing soccer at 6 years old, competing in national cheer competitions (and winning), playing 3 seasons of high school sports or going to the gym 1-2 hours a day in college, physical activity has been my outlet for my overly competitive side and my stress.  Before I left, my Dad encouraged me to continue to be physically active here in Rwanda.  He didn't want to see me lose the love I have for working out because it's such a big part of who I am.  I think back to this conversation pretty much every time I start to plan a workout or think of how much I don't want to do a workout.  However, as most things as a PCV, it was a lot easier said than done.  

For the first whole year here I struggled with having so many new stressors in my life, and this new environment where I had to figure out how to relieve that stress without being able to escape to a gym with my headphones blasting and lift a ton, or without being able to go for a run without attention being drawn to me at a time where I really wanted to escape.  I fell into this pit where even though most things were going really well, loving my site, integrating into the community, starting projects successfully, I didn't feel like myself.  To the outside world I was still labeled as someone who stayed fit and worked out consistently, and every time I would hear a comment about it I would smile and nod but feel incredibly guilty.  I tried to set goals, complete different video based programs, and change my eating habits.  With every new thing I tried it never felt beneficial mentally or physically.  I was more stressed out, I wasn't seeing any physical improvement, and then to make myself feel better I would eat amandazi (fried dough) or jars of peanut butter...thus making myself feel even worse.  

I had known there was going to be a half marathon taking place in May and it was something I had wanted to do since I had gotten here.  It would be my first half marathon ever, and to do it here in Rwanda would be even cooler.  So being fed up with my inability to form a consistent exercise habit for almost a year at that point, I signed up thinking it would force me to train and get back on the right track.  I ran a few times leading up to the half but between the rainy season being perfectly timed and me really not being a fan of running and getting unwanted attention almost everyday, I'd say I maybe ran a total of 10 times and did a few Insanity workouts leading up to it.  So, when it came down to it I could either run it without having trained, or not run it.  Me, being the competitive and unforgiving person I am to myself, chose the former.  I knew on a deeper level inside myself that I could do it and that I needed to do it to pull myself out of this mindset that was holding me back in every other aspect of my life.  Feeling self conscious, guilty and like a phony was not how I wanted to continue feeling throughout the rest of my service or even the rest of my life.  So I ran the Kigali Peace Half Marathon.  Not only did I finish but I finished in 2 hrs and 26 min.  Most people start their new workout journey towards half marathons, and I apparently start there. 

  

Went for a run by the lake
after a late night with the
Girls in Gisenyi...

  Since then I kicked my butt into gear and put on my creative PCV thinking cap and worked hard to find a solution to my problem.  I started looking at what I liked and didn't like in the methods I had tried before, I experimented with different times of the day, read a lot of blogs and articles trying to get some different perspectives on exercise and diet that allow for wiggle room and also push you enough to sweat and get those endorphins pumping, and rediscovered how much I love exercise and working out.                                                                                           For the past 4 months I've kept up my consistency, made improvements larger than any I made in a year, and have learned to let myself have a little wiggle room because LIFE HAPPENS.  I've been focusing on a lot of circuit training, short intense workouts and eating enough. The Blogger I really like talks a lot about moderation both in exercise and eating.  Now, a lot of people wouldn't call the amount I workout (or at least talk/think about it) moderate, but for me it is and before when I wasn't working out as intensely I tried to cut out carbs and eat less to make up for it but it just me less energetic, craving more, and hangry ALL the time.  So, moderation has become something I've taken a loving to and something that works for me right now.

Even when in town for the weekend
I'm now trying to eat moderately
instead of binging on all the things
I miss in the village. <3

Finally, because I know you are sick of listening to me, I've not only been coming up with my own workouts and workout routines but I've also been creating some for some fellow volunteers.  I've discovered how much I love coming up with workouts, talking about fitness and physical health, and how there are so many ways I can use this passion in the future (I have a laundry list of paths my life could take after this one).  I actually just completed a training called Grassroots Soccer, a curriculum that uses soccer to teach about HIV and Malaria to adolescents.  Stay tuned for updates on this amazing program!

Chantal my GRS Counterpart!

I'm happy to say that I've definitely overcome the most unexpected challenge thus far in my service, I don't expect it to be the last but I think the way I tackle future challenges will definitely be influenced by this one.  

If you ever want to talk about exercise, fitness, workouts etc let me know!! Also this is the first time I'm really going a bit deeper than the day to day things happening over here but it's quite liberating and I hope you all appreciate my authenticity.

Love you all!  

Erika <3

Out at the Lake for a Birthday Celebration